Action

Posts that find “action at the end of distraction”.

The Lost Art of Listening

by Larry Hehn on April 24, 2013

After all the fuss I’ve been making about growing my beard over the past several weeks, I took a major step backward on Tuesday night.

I took my son to the barber for a haircut. While dropping him off, I noticed on the menu board that the barber also did beards.

Noting that some beard hairs grow more quickly than others, and figuring that I’d benefit from a bit of a ”clean up” trim, I soon found myself a chair.

Not wanting to undo a stellar three months of beard growth, I carefully explained to the barber, “I’m growing my hair out. I want to keep it as long as possible. I don’t want to lose any length on my beard. I just want you to even the growth out and trim down any stragglers.”

Before I knew it, he had taken a set of electric shears and hacked a full inch of growth off the right side of my face.

“Like this?” he asked, with a vacant look on his face.

I think the look of horror on my face and my exclamation of “Oh, crap!” told him he had made a huge mistake.

Too late at that point, though. We had to even everything out. Which means I lost about two months’ worth of beard growth in that sitting, due to some poor communication.

I am so bummed.

I was so careful and deliberate with my wording; I have no idea how he could have somehow heard me say, “Reduce my face to stubble.”

It reminds me of back when my wife was pregnant with our son. We were out of town in Buffalo, NY and she was having some serious cravings for a Wendy’s hamburger. I asked one of the locals where I could find a Wendy’s.

Without hesitation he replied, “There’s Swiss Chalet just around the corner.”

“Thank you,” I continued, “but my wife is pregnant. She has a craving for a Wendy’s hamburger. Do you know where we can find a Wendy’s?”

“Yeah,” he said, “Follow me, the Swiss Chalet is right around the corner.”

“B-but,” I stammered, “We’re looking for a Wendy’s…” as he hopped in his car and waved us on.

We got in our car and followed him. To Swiss Chalet. He waited in his car to make sure we got out of ours and went in. We hid inside the Swiss Chalet until he pulled away, then resumed our search for…a Wendy’s.

Do people not listen anymore?

It’s easy to spot when other people don’t listen.

I wonder how often I’ve had trouble with my own listening, and not even noticed.

I wonder what I’d hear God say to me right now, if I chose to discover the lost art of listening.

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How the Conservative Party of Canada Lost My Vote

by Larry Hehn on April 18, 2013

I’ve been a die-hard Conservative for most of my adult life.

And, while I’ll never claim to be an aficionado when it comes to Canadian politics, I’ve noticed a pattern over the years.

It seems to me a large number of Canadians don’t really care which party is in power.

As long as the current leadership hasn’t ticked everyone off enough, as a nation we’ll just shrug our shoulders in resignation and vote for them again in the next election.

But if leadership has rubbed us the wrong way, we’ll look for whoever we think is the most likely opponent to beat them, and vote for them instead.

For a lot of Canadians, it’s not so much about the party line as it is about putting in power the person who offends us the least.

Which I suppose helps explain the recent Conservative Party of Canada ads.

Mere hours after Justin Trudeau (son of former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau) was elected the leader of the opposition Liberal Party, the Conservative Party ran this childish campaign:

I guess the idea was to convince us that Justin Trudeau and the Liberal Party are an even worse option than the current Conservative government, led by Stephen Harper.

But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - if you think smearing the opposition is more likely to win my vote than news of how well you’re running the country, then maybe you shouldn’t be in power.

Would it make sense for me to promote my blog by telling you how awful someone else’s blog is? Or try to convince my wife what a wonderful husband I am by telling her what horrible husbands other guys would make?

Hardly.

Then why do political parties spend so much time and money convincing us how bad the other guy is, and very little showing us why they are the right choice?

Sorry Stephen Harper and Conservative Party of Canada, I’ve had it with you. In your efforts to gain votes you didn’t yet have, you just lost one that you already did.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. – Ephesians 4:29

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Speak Up Or You’ll Wind Up Eating Celery

by Larry Hehn on April 3, 2013

Ask people to name their 10 favorite foods, and I doubt that celery would make many lists.

It’s definitely not in my Top 10.

But I used to eat a lot of it when I lived with my parents, in my late teens and early 20′s.

Back then I’d eat just about anything, and everything.

Seems I was always hungry, especially after playing hockey or softball. I’d come home and raid the fridge, eating whatever was handy.

There always seemed to be tons of celery.

So I’d eat that just to get rid of it, along with whatever else I could find. Heck, when you’re that hungry, sometimes quantity trumps quality.

But after a while…month after month after month…my frustration with eating celery boiled over.

I finally blurted to my Mom, “Will you please stop buying so much celery?!”

“I thought you liked it,” she replied, “You kept eating so much of it.”

“No!” I cried, “I’ve only been eating it to get rid of it. I don’t like it!”

I didn’t like celery, and was eating it just to get rid of it. My Mom saw how much I was eating, thought I liked it, and kept buying more.

Until I spoke up, she thought everything was fine.

But it wasn’t. I was eating celery, for crying out loud.

Why didn’t I speak up sooner?

******

Fast forward a couple of decades…

My wife and I are now seeing a counsellor once a week. Why? Because over the years we didn’t speak up on certain issues in our relationship.

We didn’t share how we were feeling at the time. Didn’t give our partner the chance to learn and possibly change things. Just grew more and more frustrated with each other until we finally snapped.

I’m glad we’re working things out now. It’s such a relief to speak out when things bother us, and deal with them then and there. It sure helps avoid a bunch of mental baggage down the road.

Just like me with the celery, I wish we had decided to speak up sooner. But I’m glad we finally did.

******

Let me encourage you, if something is going on in your life that is bothering you - tactfully, lovingly, speak up.

It may lead to some hard conversations, but in the long run it’s worth it.

It sure beats eating celery.

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Someone Whom You Don’t Know

by Larry Hehn on February 15, 2013

I live within walking distance of a major highway. Sometimes when there’s been a crash, I can see a helicopter hovering over that section of the road.

Earlier this week, the helicopter was hovering. And the first thought through my head was, “I hope it isn’t anyone I know.”

I quickly gave my head a shake.

As if it would be alright if it was someone I didn’t know?

How sick is that?

But that happens all the time. Doesn’t it?

*****

In an old Twilight Zone episode called Button, Button, Arthur and Norma Lewis are poor and in desperate need of cash. A strange box arrives at their door, along with a note. The note says a Mr. Steward will soon be paying them a visit. Later, Mr. Steward shows up with a key to the box.

He explains that if they press the button on the box, two things will happen: they will be given $200,000, and “someone whom you don’t know” will die.

They agonize for days about whether or not to press the button.

Finally, Norma gives in and decides to press it.

Mr. Steward shows up the next day with a briefcase containing $200,000. He informs them that the button on the box will be ”reprogrammed” and given to someone else under the same terms and conditions.

“I can assure you,” he concludes, ”it will be offered to someone whom you don’t know.”

*****

When it’s “someone whom you don’t know”, it’s easier – as this Phil Collins song suggests - to “switch it off or look away”.

Long Long Way To Go*

While I sit here trying to think of things to say
Someone lies bleeding in a field somewhere
So it would seem we’ve still got a long long way to go
I’ve seen all I wanna see today

While I sit here trying to move you any way I can
Someone’s son lies dead in a gutter somewhere
And it would seem that we’ve got a long long way to go
But I can’t take it anymore

Turn it off if you want to
Switch it off it will go away
Turn it off if you want to
Switch it off or look away

While I sit and we talk and talk and we talk some more
Someone’s loved one’s heart stops beating in a street somewhere
So it would seem we’ve still got a long long way to go, I know
I’ve heard all I wanna hear today

Turn it off if you want to (turn it off if you want to)
Switch it off it will go away (switch it off it will go away)
Turn it off if you want to (turn it off if you want to)
Switch it off or look away (switch it off or look away)

Switch it off

Turn it off

*****

It’s interesting how our concern level changes when the affected person switches from “someone whom you don’t know” to someone we do know. Especially ourselves.

Isn’t it?

*****

What if it was someone you did know?

* Special thanks to katdish for introducing me to these lyrics almost two years ago, right after the tsunami in Japan.

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Leadership: Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way

by Larry Hehn on February 11, 2013

I’ve always been a music buff, especially the “classic rock” genre. Growing up in Toronto in the 1970′s, my transistor radio was tuned in to local AM radio station 1050 CHUM for all the latest rock and roll hits. I still remember DJ Tom Rivers, who signed off his broadcast time with the slogan, “Lead, follow, or get out of the way!”

Decades later, his slogan still strikes a chord with me, since I’ve always been concerned about which one of those three God is calling me to do.

Do you know someone who should be leading, but isn’t? Do you know someone who should be following, but isn’t? Do you know someone who just needs to get out of the way?

Could any one of those someones be you?

For four years a friend of mine, Marc, helped plant and pastor a new church. At the end of those four years he realized it had progressed as far as his leadership would take it. Marc loves his people. He swallowed his pride and made the difficult, painful decision to “get out of the way” so someone else could continue what he had started. That is the mark of a true leader. I can’t even begin to describe how much I admire him for that.

Another friend of mine was in virtually the same situation. He is a good man with many talents, but leadership is not one of them. Still, he assumed a position of leadership. He gave it his all, and took his young church as far as his ability would allow. But then, perhaps unaware of his limitations, he stayed in that position and refused to get out of the way.

It resulted in a slow and painful death spiral that left many good families hurt and disillusioned, physically, mentally and spiritually spent. What an unfortunate ending for something that started with so much hope and promise.

With those examples clearly in mind, last year I stepped out of a leadership role in the young adult ministry at our church and allowed it to take a whole new direction, under new leadership. For a while it felt like I was admitting defeat.

But then I realized…

Not everyone is called to be a leader, and that’s ok. We glorify God by using the talents and opportunities He has given us, and also by making room for others to use theirs. Sometimes it’s just a matter of knowing when to lead, when to follow, and when to get out of the way.

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. – Romans 12:6-8

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