Fun

Posts that find “fun in the middle of dysfunction”.

How To Grow a Duck Dynasty Beard

by Larry Hehn on April 11, 2013

Ever since I decided, 75 days ago, to grow a Duck Dynasty beard, new and exciting things have been happening.

I’ve been referred to as Moses, Santa, and Grizzly Adams. I’ve had my own mother say, “Eww…you’re not going to keep growing that, are you?” I’ve discovered that egg yolks stick really well to facial hair.

And I’ve noticed a modest shift in traffic to my blog.

Over the past month, 8 of the top 13 search queries that led people to this site had something to do with Duck Dynasty. The most popular one was “how to grow a Duck Dynasty beard”.

With that in mind, I knew I had to do what any savvy blogger would do:

Shamelessly create new content to exploit search queries related to Duck Dynasty beards, solely to increase traffic.
Justify it by offering readers a solution to a current problem, so it doesn’t look like I’ve completely sold out.

Beard, Day 74

So, although my own Duck Dynasty beard is still a work in progress (great beards are measured in years and months, not weeks and days), it is my pleasure to share the keys I have learned over the past several weeks about how to grow a Duck Dynasty beard:

Avoid shaving.
Repeat Step 1.

Sorry if you were expecting something more complicated.

But as Phil Robertson once said when asked how long he had been growing his beard, “I ain’t growing it. It’s doing that on its own.”

Words of wisdom.

Results may vary depending on your genetics and hormone levels, but this isn’t rocket science, folks. You can’t force or rush a Duck Dynasty beard.

You just have to let it happen.

It can go against every fiber of our being, but sometimes the best thing you can do to help something grow, is get out of its way.

Have you ever tried to force things that were beyond your control?

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Why I Enjoyed My Trip to the Dentist (Even Though It Hurt)

by Larry Hehn on March 13, 2013

On Monday I went to the dentist. Naturally, on the previous Thursday I started to floss, hoping to make it look like I’d been flossing regularly for the last six months.

Oops.

Even though my dentist is a really nice guy with a great sense of humor, I don’t usually enjoy my visits. Even if it’s just for a clean and polish.

Most appointments start off with a rookie hygienist, half my size and half my age, trying to gouge her way through my teeth with a sharp metal hook. This hook, though meant to clean my teeth, quite often finds its way into my gums as well.

As much as I try to stay relaxed and distracted by the 24-hour news channel on the TV screen that’s glued to the ceiling, I can’t help but stiffen and wince as the hook-wielding sprite-du-jour bloodies my gums.

I never appreciated or understood all that pain until Monday’s appointment. For the first time ever, my hygienist actually explained to me what she was doing, and why she had to scrape below the gumline.

It turns out that, though painful, removing the plaque from below the gumline keeps my teeth clean and healthy. The longer I go without that maintenance, the worse my teeth will get, and the more painful the work will be to fix them.

Knowing that didn’t lessen the pain, but it made it more bearable.

That’s the attitude I try to remember when God disciplines me. His knowledge of - and desire for - what’s best for me should always trump my selfish desires. Though it’s painful, his way is the best.

The longer I go against it, the worse things will get, and the more painful it will be to fix them.

God, let me seek and follow your will today, not mine.

Oh yeah, and please remind me to floss.

Amen.

No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. – Hebrews 12:11

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5 Things I Learned from Growing a Beard for 40 Days

by Larry Hehn on March 11, 2013

Well, we are now 40 days into my year-long quest of growing a beard worthy of Duck Dynasty.

At the start of this great adventure, I posted some reasons why I’m growing a beard in the first place. And, as the facial follicles festively fill out, I’ve made a few observations about the whole process.

It’s amazing how, when you’re looking for simple life lessons, they seem to pop up in the most unusual circumstances. Like letting your hair grow.

In totally random order, here is some of the wisdom I’ve gleaned from the experience so far:

Change and growth don’t happen overnight. It’s a process that you need to commit to, something that happens daily. Sometimes the change is so gradual, you don’t notice from day to day. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Note your progress so you can look back over time to see the results.
Change and growth can be uncomfortable. Any guy who has grown a beard can tell you about that stretch, a few days into it, where it starts to itch. Many guys will cave at this point and give up in the name of comfort. Only the truly committed will soldier through to see the reward.
Change and growth won’t look good right away. Even the best beards started as unsightly stubble. Hey, you gotta start somewhere.
Change and growth won’t appeal to everyone. You may get comments from others about how this new venture isn’t such a good idea. Some may have a valid point (not everyone can – or should – grow a beard). A few just might be jealous. Beard envy, anyone? Choose to get feedback from those you respect who will “tell it like it is”.
Those who have been there will rally around you and offer encouragement. I’ve swapped plenty of beard stories with some great guys over the last few weeks, and don’t think I’ll ever tire of them. There’s a special bond among guys with beards, a kinship. A knowing nod and a smile that says, “Hey, me too!”

And a bonus thing I learned this past week – toddlers can stare for a very, very long time.

What changes have you been going through lately? What changes have you been putting off?

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5 Reasons I’m Growing a Duck Dynasty Beard

by Larry Hehn on February 8, 2013

Duck Dynasty beard I’ve been sporting facial hair since I grew a moustache at 18. My beard has come and gone over the years. The goatee has been around for the last 10 years or so.

I’ve now had more years with facial hair than without.

But I’ve never had a Duck Dynasty beard.

For those who aren’t familiar, Duck Dynasty is a reality TV series that follows the Robertson family and their duck call business, Duck Commander. The Robertson men are known for their robust beards.

If you’ve ever wondered what you’d look like with a Duck Dynasty beard, follow this link to the Duck Dynasty Beard Yourself Facebook app. I’ve shared my handiwork above.

Yep, that picture up there? Not my real beard.

Yet.

See, I’ve decided to grow myself a Duck Dynasty beard. I figure it’ll take about a year, maybe a bit longer.

It’s been 12 days so far, and all is well.

It’s amazing how polarizing the topic of beards can be. People (especially ladies) seem to either love them or hate them. So why, you ask, would I suddenly decide to grow a Duck Dynasty beard?

My company is hosting a rock ‘n’ roll theme party in January 2014 and I want to go as a member of ZZ Top.
My wife has been asking me to grow my hair long for years. The beard has been included in the dare. Happy wife, happy life!
It’s a bit of a ”social experiment” to see how differently people react to me with long hair and a bushy beard.
I figure it will help me look more the part of a “Christian in the Rough”. Kinda like the anti-Joel Osteen. Same muscular build and pasty white complexion, with the head of a Robertson instead of an Osmond.
I’m hoping to one day be included in The Bearded Idealist‘s Beard of the Month feature, which is not only a lot of fun, but also helps raise money for a great cause.

Check in for monthly updates on the beard’s progress. Use the app to beard yourself and post the link. Or guys, why not join me and grow your own Duck Dynasty beard?

How do you feel about beards?

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Face Value: Left Side, Right Side, Good Side, Bad Side

by Larry Hehn on December 31, 2012

At the end of each year, I like to take a few days off, recharge my batteries, and spend some extra time with family and friends. This year, I’m also putting the finishing touches on a book proposal. What a perfect time to share the 10 most popular posts of the past year here at Christian in the Rough!

Surprisingly, most of the “Top 10″ were not published in 2012, so you may not have seen these in a while, if ever! Counting down the Christian in the Rough Top 10 for 2012, here’s the number one post!

Take a close look at yourself in a photograph or in the mirror, and you will likely notice that you are not symmetrical. All of us have differences between the left and right half of our faces and bodies, though some may be quite subtle.

For me, some of the differences are easy to spot. I have a tattoo on my left shoulder blade. My head is always tilted slightly to the right (the result of an old hockey injury). My nose was broken in a bizarre high-jumping accident back in high school (please don’t ask), so it curves and points slightly to the left of my face. Although I am right-handed, the left half of my upper body is noticeably more muscular than my right, especially around my neck and shoulders.

Have you ever heard someone ask a photographer to capture their “good side” when taking pictures?

Well, my “good side” is my left. Though I’m grateful for both halves of my body, I prefer the looks of my left over my right. Just for fun I took a picture of myself, divided my face down the middle, and mirrored the images to see the difference. The results were downright freaky, as you can see below.

On your left is the right side of my face, mirrored. In the middle is my “normal” face. On your right is the left side of my face, mirrored.

Up until I created these pictures, I hadn’t realized what a huge difference there is between one half of my face and the other. Of course, the lighting helps. But look at the contrast! The left half of my face looks stronger, healthier, happier, more positive. The right half of my face looks weaker, less healthy, less happy, less upbeat. Both halves are my face. Both live together, side by side. But both are very different.

Isn’t it funny how it even shows up in our face?

We all have a strong side and a weak side.

A healthy side and a not-so-healthy side.

A bright side and a dark side.

A “good” side and a “bad” side.

We are a unique blend of both.

The important question is…which one do we tend to favor?

Which side are you on?

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