Posts that find “fun in the middle of dysfunction”.

5 More Reasons Why I’m Growing My Beard

by Larry Hehn on November 26, 2013

larry beardBack in February 2013 I published a post of 5 reasons why I was growing a “Duck Dynasty” beard. After an unfortunate trimming accident in April set progress back a couple of months, the growing resumed.

It has been 10 months since I started growing my beard. Roughly 8 months’ worth now adorns my cheeks.

I measured one of my beard hairs just a few days ago. Stretched straight from end to end, it was exactly 5 inches long. The beard itself is a bit shorter, since it likes to curl. (My hair doesn’t grow long. It grows wide.) But it’s filling in nicely.

It has been an interesting experience, these last few months.

Since the adventure started, I’ve discovered 5 more reasons why (I think) this has been a great idea:

  1. I no longer need to zip my coat all the way up to stay warm in the winter. My beard is my scarf.
  2. People who haven’t seen me in a year no longer recognize me. It’s a great way to sneak up on old friends and surprise them.
  3. The local Harley Davidson dealership now welcomes me with open arms.
  4. My acting career has blossomed. I am playing a shepherd in our church Christmas play, and have posed as Duck Dynasty characters when making announcements about church events. Who knew I was such a thespian?
  5. I’ve been able to work with some worthy causes, like helping DJ and Courtney Hofmann raise enough money to adopt a baby from South Korea. Thanks to dozens of generous beard growers and sponsors in their A Beard for A Baby promotion, the Hofmanns are very close to reaching full funding for their adoption. With your help, they could meet their goal by the end of November!

As the adventure continues, I look forward to discovering and sharing new insights this world of facial hair is opening up. Aside from having more dogs growl at me than ever before, and having to use a lot more shampoo and napkins, this has been a lot of fun.

What other reasons can you think of for growing a beard?


Why did the snail cross the sidewalk?

by Larry Hehn on October 18, 2013

snailOn my stroll in to work yesterday, I sidestepped three snails making a long, slow trek across the sidewalk. Two were heading south, one was heading north.

With winter fast approaching, I think the ones heading south had the better idea.

But part of me wondered. The patches of grass on either side of the sidewalk looked identical. What was so enticing about the other side of the sidewalk that made these snails risk being crushed underfoot?

Why did the snail cross the sidewalk?

If you came here expecting a punch line or even a serious answer to that question, I apologize. I have neither.

I suppose there will always be that allure of the proverbial greener grass on the other side.

We figure that next job, next relationship, next home, next vacation, next adrenaline rush, next shopping spree, next party, next award, next project, next meal, next tattoo, piercing or hairstyle will leave us fulfilled.

But when we get there, we find the grass wasn’t that much greener after all.

Maybe it’s because, no matter how attractive the destination, there’s always a common denominator that joins us at each destination.


As it was said by Buckaroo Banzai, “No matter where you go…there you are.”

I found it both funny and sad that there were snails heading in both directions. Were they heading from, or to?

Why did the snail cross the sidewalk?

I’m not sure, but no matter where it goes…there it is.

What is your favorite variation on the joke “Why did the chicken cross the road?”


Bananas in the Bible?

by Larry Hehn on October 10, 2013

green bananasI like talking about bananas.

Whether it’s the green ones that you find at hotel breakfast buffets, the proper way to eat them, or what to do with your old ones, they seem to be a favorite topic around here.

And why not? They’re fun, flavorful, and a good source of potassium.

But, alas, when it comes to bananas, Scripture is silent. Yep, there’s no mention of bananas in the Bible.

You’ll find verses that talk about apples, dates, figs, grapes, melons, olives, pomegranates…heck, even raisins.

But the humble banana? Not a peep. Silence. Crickets.

Come to think of it, not only are there no bananas in the Bible, it doesn’t mention bacon or peanut butter sandwiches either.

Sorry, Elvis.

For the record, I’m not looking to rewrite Scripture. But I did find a familiar (yet unlikely) verse where bananas might make a similar illustration.

Check this out:

As iron sharpens iron,
    so a friend sharpens a friend. – Proverbs 27:17

Ok, I know what you’re probably thinking.

Bananas don’t sharpen bananas.

True, at least not very well. But they do help ripen each other.

Yes, if you want to slow your bananas from ripening, all you need to do is separate them. A lone banana will take longer to ripen than one that is in a bunch.

Ripening bananas give off a gas called ethylene, which accelerates the ripening process. When gathered in a bunch, bananas encourage each other to ripen through a higher concentration of ethylene.

So not only does iron sharpen iron, but bananas ripen bananas.

Nope, there are no bananas in the Bible. But if there were, they would be in a bunch.

“For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” – Matthew 18:20