Do you hear what I hear?

by Larry Hehn on June 15, 2014

grandfather clockMy sister-in-law and her family own a grandfather clock. Its Westminster chimes sound each quarter hour. The soothing tones echo through the spacious foyer and fill the house.

But without my hearing aid, I can’t hear them.

There are certain frequencies I simply cannot, and do not, hear without the aid of technology.

Before I was equipped with a hearing aid, you would have been hard pressed to convince me chimes were coming from that clock every fifteen minutes.

No matter how well you described them or related your experience of hearing them to me, I would swear you were nuts. Clearly, from my perspective, the only sound coming from the clock was a steady tick, tock, tick, tock.

Which one of us would be “right”?

After all these years I’ve finally started to figure out – that’s the wrong question.

Empathy has never been my strong suit. I have trouble seeing and hearing things through a set of eyes and ears other than my own.

But I’m learning.

I’ve always placed high value on being right. It’s just how I’m wired. After reading Integrity by Henry Cloud (a highly recommended read, by the way), and not hearing the Westminster chimes one night, it dawned on me that I and those around me could benefit from me dialing that down.

As Cloud describes it, “Being right is not [an empathetic person’s] highest value. Understanding and connecting with others is.”

Let me tell you, I’d much rather have my tombstone read “He understood and connected with others” than “He always had to be right”. The former sure is a lot more Christ-like.

So, do you hear what I hear?

“For what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing: it also depends on what sort of person you are.” – C.S. Lewis, The Magician’s Nephew

“To empathize and validate what someone is experiencing does not mean that you always agree or even think the other person is right. It just means that you see it as valid in that it is really their experience, and true for that person, and you show them that you understand what they are thinking and feeling.” – Dr. Henry Cloud, Integrity

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Posts With the Most – April 2014

by Larry Hehn on May 2, 2014

posts with the mostHave you ever looked back over a stretch of time, scratched your head and asked yourself, “What the heck happened?” April always seems to be that kind of month for me. Again this year it zoomed past in the wink of an eye.

Thankfully I did manage to assemble some of my favorite blog posts from around the blogosphere – the Posts with the Most – for your reading pleasure.

As always, I invite you to share your own favorite blog posts from the past month in the comment section. After all, this is about discovering and sharing some of the great blogs and bloggers out there. Come join the party!

Here are my picks for April 2014, in random order:

  • You are allowed your process. – For all of us with someone we love who doesn’t work the same way we do, and it drives us crazy. From Jamie the Very Worst Missionary.
  • There is not enough – Feeling stretched to the limit? So was KC Procter, until some encouraging words came to mind.
  • Move – A bold and necessary dare from Rick at Planned Peasanthood.
  • What’s Your Legacy? – At Tough Bananas, Jan Moyer wants to know what you are doing today that has lasting impact.
  • When Hills Become GiftsThe Scenic Route‘s Eileen Knowles knows that obstacles in life aren’t always a bad thing.

Congratulations to all our featured blogs and bloggers!

What were some of your favorite blog posts in April 2014?

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Posts With the Most – March 2014

by Larry Hehn on April 1, 2014

posts with the mostWell, now that we’ve reached the first of April (no fooling!) it’s time to celebrate our favorite blog posts from March 2014 – the Posts with the Most!

Once again I’ve assembled my favorites of all the blog posts I read last month, and invite you to join the fun by letting us know some of your own March picks in the comment section.

One of the things I like most about this monthly feature – besides the chance to promote some great blogs and bloggers I know – is to discover new ones!

So don’t be shy, dive right in. Enjoy these stellar six, and let us know who else you think should be on this list.

Here they are, in random order…

Now it’s your turn – what were your favorite top blog posts from March 2014?

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