humor

2013 Beard of the Year – Cast your vote!

by Larry Hehn on January 6, 2014

Beard of the YearWho knew that something as simple as growing a beard could be so much fun, and benefit so many good causes?

A little less than a year ago, inspired by The Bearded Idealist‘s 2012 Beard of the Year competition and a challenge from some friends and family, I started growing my beard.

Along the way, my beard has helped DJ and Courtney Hofmann raise funds to finance an international adoption. It helped me portray some members of the Duck Dynasty clan for special church announcements. And it turned me into a really sweet looking shepherd for our Christmas Eve pageant.

I even had the honor of being named Beard of the Month for November 2013!

And now, along with 11 other awesome bearded gents, I’m in the running for 2013 Beard of the Year!

Here’s the part where we get to work together and have some fun:

The Beard of the Year competition benefits an organization called Live58, which is working to help free victims of human trafficking around the world. The winning beard will be the one that raises the highest amount of donations toward the cause.

The competition is only open until the end of the day Tuesday January 7, so there’s no time to wait! To see all the beards in the competition, click here. Once there, I’d be very pleased if you would scroll down to the November 2013 Beard of the Month and click it to cast your vote.

It’s not every day you get to determine a Beard of the Year and help out a very worthy cause at the same time. Please take advantage and show your support.

If you wish to save some time, click here to go straight to the Team Larry – Beard of the Year 2013 support page.

On behalf of Live58 and Stephen Haggerty, The Bearded Idealist himself, thank you for your support!

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Honking In the Drive-Through

by Larry Hehn on June 24, 2013

honking hornOn Saturday morning my wife and I pulled into a local drive-through to grab a coffee before heading out to Limehouse Conservation Area to take some pictures.

(Yep, the new blog design is the result of that trip. Thank you, Monique, for snapping all those photos!)

I was amazed at the number of cars in line. There must have been 15 to 20 vehicles queuing up for their morning sustenance.

As we all inched forward, making slow but steady progress, some impatient driver near the back of the line decided to express his dismay, and perhaps try to quicken the pace, by honking his horn.

Which caused every single person ahead of him in the bumper-to-bumper lineup to:

  1. become exceedingly cheerful
  2. instantly pay for and receive their food and drink orders regardless of their position in line, then
  3. vanish from sight.

NOT.

In fact, studies show that honking your horn in the drive-through does not cause all vehicles in front of you to magically receive their orders and disappear. Nor does it put you in friendly terms with any of the drive-through workers or patrons.

I’m not sure what possessed the guy to start honking his horn, or how he felt it might somehow speed up his progress. Part of me wondered why, if he was in such a hurry, he willingly joined a long line in the drive-through in the first place.

Another part of me wondered…what would happen if somebody snuck over and changed out that guy’s horn for, say, a whoopee cushion?

Dude, you’re going to be stuck in the drive-through for the next two-and-a-half minutes whether you like it or not. You can choose to get yourself and everyone around you wound up about it, or you can chill out. Maybe even inject a little levity.

If you could choose a different sound for that guy’s car horn, what would you make it?

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How To Grow a Duck Dynasty Beard

by Larry Hehn on April 11, 2013

duck dynastyEver since I decided, 75 days ago, to grow a Duck Dynasty beard, new and exciting things have been happening.

I’ve been referred to as Moses, Santa, and Grizzly Adams. I’ve had my own mother say, “Eww…you’re not going to keep growing that, are you?” I’ve discovered that egg yolks stick really well to facial hair.

And I’ve noticed a modest shift in traffic to my blog.

Over the past month, 8 of the top 13 search queries that led people to this site had something to do with Duck Dynasty. The most popular one was “how to grow a Duck Dynasty beard”.

With that in mind, I knew I had to do what any savvy blogger would do:

  1. Shamelessly create new content to exploit search queries related to Duck Dynasty beards, solely to increase traffic.
  2. Justify it by offering readers a solution to a current problem, so it doesn’t look like I’ve completely sold out.
beard day 74

Beard, Day 74

So, although my own Duck Dynasty beard is still a work in progress (great beards are measured in years and months, not weeks and days), it is my pleasure to share the keys I have learned over the past several weeks about how to grow a Duck Dynasty beard:

  1. Avoid shaving.
  2. Repeat Step 1.

Sorry if you were expecting something more complicated.

But as Phil Robertson once said when asked how long he had been growing his beard, “I ain’t growing it. It’s doing that on its own.”

Words of wisdom.

Results may vary depending on your genetics and hormone levels, but this isn’t rocket science, folks. You can’t force or rush a Duck Dynasty beard.

You just have to let it happen.

It can go against every fiber of our being, but sometimes the best thing you can do to help something grow, is get out of its way.

Have you ever tried to force things that were beyond your control?

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